Frsluflokkur: Vsindi og fri


Frekar erfi tilfinning sem vi mrg kunnum ekki ea finnst vi urfa a bla. Hr er g hugvekja Melody Beattie um reiina sem er elileg tilfinning, rtt einsog glein og allar hinar tilfinningarnar.

Accepting Anger

Anger is one of the many profound effects life has on us. It's one of our emotions. And we're going to feel it when it comes our way -- or else repress it.
--Codependent No More

If I were working a good program, I wouldn't get angry.... If I were a good Christian, I wouldn't feel angry.... If I were really using my affirmations about how happy I am, I wouldn't be angry.... Those are old messages that seduce us into not feeling again. Anger is part of life. We need not dwell in it or seek it out, but we can't afford to ignore it.

gril-feelings-dice_28092005143332In recovery, we learn we can shamelessly feel all our feelings, including anger, and still take responsibility for what we do when we feel angry. We don't have to let anger control us, but it surely will if we prevent ourselves from feeling it.

Being grateful, being positive, being healthy, does not mean we never feel angry. Being grateful, positive, and healthy means we feel angry when we need to.

Today, I will let myself be angry, if I need to. I can feel and release my emotions, including anger, constructively. I will be grateful for my anger and the things it is trying to show me. I can feel and accept all my emotions without shame, and I can take responsibility for my actions.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Daphne Hampson

post-christian gufringur me fyrirlestur morgun H. Er sammla mrgum skounum hennar.

"I am a Western person, living in a post-Christian age, who has taken something with me from Christian thinkers, but who has rejected the Christian myth. Indeed I want to go a lot further than that. The myth is not neutral; it is highly dangerous. It is a brilliant, subtle, elaborate, male cultural projection, calculated to legitimise a patriarchal world and to enable men to find their way within it. We need to see it for what it is. But for myself I am a spiritual person, not an atheist. I am amazed at this 'other dimension of reality' in which there is; which allows healing, extra-sensory perception, and things to fall into place. I am quite clear there is an underlying goodness, beauty and order; that it is powerful, such that we can draw on it, while we are inter-related with it. I call that God."

af wikipedia

a telja loftnet

a er sagt hjlpa ef flk er unglynt a lta upp og f meiri birtu augun, og eitt r er a telja strompa, ea einsog hr betur vi, loftnet.

lookup Alex Ostrowski kva a tba essi kort.

- ti fyrir strri mynd.

via millstone


Stig sem Kubler-Ross skilgreindi:

  • Denial (this isn't happening to me!)
  • Anger (why is this happening to me?)
  • Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person if...)
  • Depression (I don't care anymore)
  • Acceptance (I'm ready for whatever comes)

au koma ekki endilega essari r heldur mismunandi. etta er ein skilgreiningin sorgarferlinu.

If you're going through hell
keep on going,
don't slow down
if you're scared, don't show it
you might get out before the devil even knows
you're there.

--Lyrics of a country song by Rodney Atkins (1969- ) - af

The prophet -Khalil Gibran

And a woman spoke, saying, "Tell us of Pain."

And he said:

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.

Even as the stone of the fruit must break, that its heart may stand in the sun, so must you know pain.

And could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracles of your life, your pain would not seem less wondrous than your joy;

And you would accept the seasons of your heart, even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.

And you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.

Much of your pain is self-chosen.

It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self.

Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquillity:

For his hand, though heavy and hard, is guided by the tender hand of the Unseen,

And the cup he brings, though it burn your lips, has been fashioned of the clay which the Potter has moistened with His own sacred tears.

katolikkar vita s.s. um hva eir eru ad tala

allavega meikar etta sense ad minnu mat, las etta i vetur i Psychology Today: a pillunni dragast konur ad monnum sem lykta einsog feur eirra eda brur, uppa oryggid, en egar pillunni sleppir a vera r eim afhuga...

The Divorce Pill?

Women generally prefer the smell of men whose MHC gene complements are different from theirs, setting the stage for the best biological match. But Wedekind's T-shirt study revealed one notable exception to this rule: women on the birth-control pill. When the pill users among his subjects sniffed the array of pre-worn T-shirts, they preferred the scent of men whose MHC profiles were similar to theirs-the opposite of their pill-free counterparts.

This dramatic reversal of smell preferences may reflect the pill's mechanism of action: It prevents the ovaries from releasing an egg, fooling the body into thinking it's pregnant. And since pregnancy is such a vulnerable state, it seems to activate a preference for kin, who are genetically similar to us and likely to serve as protectors. "When pregnant rodent females are exposed to strange males, they can spontaneously abort," Herz says. "The same may be true for human females." Hr. Rangur valinn vegna pillunnar
Tilkynna um vieigandi tengingu vi frtt


CPE prgramminu eru bara 5 tilfinningar sem vi megum nota til a tj lan okkar hpnum, r eru essar:

glei (glad)

tti (scared)

reii( mad)

sorg (sad)

srindi (hurt)

etta er kvenar grunntilfinningar og hjlpa manni a komast betur tengsl vi raunverulega lian.

Hr er mynd af Tilfinningahjlinu sem er lka, og snir hvaa tilfinningar stemma fr essum grunntilfinningum.

Edwin Friedman

Rabbi sem n er ltinn, mikill spekingur:

The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.

Vi horfum dag vide me honum ar sem hann talar um leitoga, gaf t bk um etta efni: Failure of nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix. Videoi er fr 1996 og ef maur spir a sem hann segir fyrir 9/11 meikar etta sense um Amerku, sem hann segir vera orna taugaveiklaa:

Symptons of an anxious family or country:

1. Reactivity - emotional response to things

2. Herding - togetherness, adapting to troublemaker

3. Blaming - avoiding challenge, blame is both in and out

4. Quick fix mentality - linear thinking, simple answers to problems; like DNA will answer it all or turns to drugs, legal or unlegal.

The barriers to change: emphasis on outside information, it becomes like substance abuse. The most dependent member sets the standard.

hnotskurn snst etta, eins og g skil a, um a treysta eigi innsi, ekki vera hkt utanakomandi tlum og knnunum, heldur treysta manns eigi brjstvit. Eins talar hann um a hugsa meira um sjlfa sig en ara, ekki vera of innvolveraur ara sem leitogi.

Hann lkti Amerku sustu 30 rin vi Evrpu mildum hva hugarfar varar og tk Columbus sem dmi um mann sem braust tur stnun. Ef maur er fastur kvenu vandamli mun meiri hugsun ekki leysa a, heldur vintri, lkt og Columbus geri. Maur arf a gera eitthva algerlega ntt. (Family systems and leaders).

- nnur bloggskrif mn um Freidman: hr og hr.

a vinna r hlutum

ar sem nmi snst miki um sorg og sorgarvibrg horfum vi Sacred Stories, ar sem James Carroll(rithfundur),Frederick Buechner(prestur og rithfundur) og Maya Angelou tluu.

Buechner sagi fr v hvernig hann vann r sjlfsmori fur sns, sem tk lf sitt egar Buechner var barn og fylgdi v mikil skmm og sorg.

egar Buechner er um fimmtugt er hann hj erapista sem rleggur honum a skrifa samtal milli sn sem barns og fur sns til a f a vita af hverju pabbinn geri etta og f tkifri til a segja honum hvernig honum lei. Og hann a skrifa samtali me vinstri hendinni, eirri sem hann notar ekki til skrifta. Me v mti virkjar hann arar stvar einhvernveginn og verur meira barn. Buechner segir fr essari afer og er a mjg magna samtali sem var til milli hins lngu ltna fur og barnsins sem urfti a glma vi falli allt lfi. Og me essu nr hann a f closure.

why versus what

Question%20MarkLri dag a sta ess a segja ,,af hverju er etta svona?'' ea ,,af hverju er g svona?'' er betra a spyrja sig ,,hva get g gert essu'' ea ,,hva arf g a gera?''.

egar mau notar why er maur komin myrkan, erfian sta, en what er praktskara og hjlpar manni a ra r hlutunum og gera eitthva.


Rddum dag um fjlskylduleyndarml og horfum myndband um etta efni. Fjlskyldur geta haft leyndarml sem aeins sumir fjlskyldunni vita um, og eru ar af leiandi the in group, og hinir sem ekkert f a vita eru the out group. Sum leyndarml eru ess leg a au geta valdi alvarlegum skaa ea hegunarbreytingum hj einhverjum fjlskyldunni.

T.d. var teki dmi ar sem unglingur tk a hega sr illa og srstaklega oktber r hvert. Fjlskyldan fer v til erapista og kemur ljs a foreldrarnir hfu aga um hver raunverulegur fair unglingsins var. En s hafi di ur en sonurinn fddist og a oktber. Mamman sem var n gift rum mannni, sem gekk unglingnum fursta, tti alltaf erfitt ennan mnu sem hn hafi misst fyrri manninn og hennar vanlan hafi neikv hrif soninn. annig a niurstaan var a segja fr leyndarmlinu og leysa ar me um spennunna sem var undirliggjandi.

Kenningin er v s a allt sem flk er a fela(t.d. fkn, glp etc.) kemur fram einhverri hegun og hefur hrif flk kring.

familiegMost (all?) families "keep secrets" - i.e. family leaders or other members intentionally withhold or distort selected information about themselves, their ancestors, and key family events to (a) protect reputations, assets, and security; and to (b) avoid embarrassments and humiliations (public shame), guilts, and anxieties. Your family's secrets can range from outdated to harmless to toxic. Toxic secrets limit someone's serenity, wholistic health, growth, healing, and bonding, and/or promote a distorted personal identity (sense of self) and unrealistic expectations. Unrecognized family secrets can lower your family's nurturance level in many ways.

People who keep or promote harmful family secrets tend to be shame-based and/or fear-based adults who unintentionally pass on their false-self wounds to naive minor kids until someone wakes them and motivates them to stop. - han

Hvaa leyndarml er inni fjlskyldu???

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