ad setja mork

eda boundaries. Fengum fyrirlestur um þetta efni hja salfræðingi i gær. Mjog ahugavert efni. Maður er alltaf ad sja það skyrar og skyrar hversu mikid uppeldið hefur ad segja um folk, það markar mann for live, gott eda vont. Serstaklega lærir folk ad setja mork i uppeldinu og ef þau eru heilbrigð þa byr folk að þvi alla ævi, en ef morkin hafa raskast i æsku þa þarf folk ad supa seyðið af þvi seinna. Sem betur fer er hægt ad læra ad laga morkin og oðlast heilbrigð mork. Margir held eg ad seu alveg omeðvitadir um skemmd mork hja ser og lifið verður erfitt utaf þvi.

það sem stoð uppur fyrir mig eru orðin reactive og proreactive. Hið fyrra er oheilbrigt og a við um personur med skemmd mork og lelega sjalfsmynd þar af leiðandi. Reactive er ad bregðast hrátt vid ollu, lata adra sla sig utaf laginu, eda bregðast hugsunarlaust vid areiti eda oðru folki og verda of innvinklaður i annað folk og tilfinningar þess.

Hið siðara, proactive, er ad hafa goða sjalfsmynd og hugsa aður en maður bregst við og lata ekki annað folk hafa ahrif a athafnir sinar eda sjalfsmynd. 

Svona skildi eg þetta og held þetta geti gagnist morgum þvi mjog margir held eg hafa fengið einhverskonar lelegt uppeldi eda dysfunctional uppeldi.

Fann þetta a vefnum: 

Healthy boundaries though not perfect, allow a person to experience a comfortable interdependence with other people, resulting in generally functional relationships and positive self-regard.

Damaged boundaries operate inconsistently and often dysfunctionally. They are the result of mixed messages and abuse, and are usually related to abusive relationships in the individual's family of origin and/or relationships of choice.

SIGNS OF HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

• Appropriate trust
• Revealing a little of yourself at a time, then checking to see how the other person responds to your sharing
• Moving step by step into intimacy
• Putting a new acquaintanceship on hold until you check for compatibility
• Deciding whether a potential relationship will be good for you
• Staying focused on your own growth and recovery
• Weighing the consequence before acting on sexual impulse
• Being sexual when you want to be sexual--concentrating largely on your own pleasure rather than monitoring reactions of partner
• Maintaining personal values despite what others want
• Noticing when someone else displays inappropriate boundaries
• Noticing when someone invades your boundaries
• Saying "NO" to food, gifts, touch, sex you don't want
• Asking a person before touching them
• Respect for others--not taking advantage of someone's generosity
• Self-respect--not giving too much in hope that someone will like you
• Not allowing someone to take advantage of your generosity
• Trusting your own decisions
• Defining your truth, as you see it
• Knowing who you are and what you want
• Recognizing that friends and partners are not mind-readers
• Clearly communicating your wants and needs (and recognizing that you may be turned down, but you can ask)
• Becoming your own loving parent
• Talking to yourself with gentleness, humor, love and respect