hverjir aðrir bera ábyrgð þarna?

Hvað með eftirlitsstofnanir eða stjónvöld, bera þau enga ábyrgð? Sendu þau bara pening til Guðmundar og vildu sem minnst af þessu fólki vita? Alveg er það merkilegt hvernig samfélaginu þóknast að hafa sumt fólk úti kuldanum og heldur að það geti gleymt því. Og eflaust ómeðvitað hentar það okkur þvi það lætur okkur hin líta betur út; ,,við erum ekki svona'´.

Smkvæmt fræðunum er þessi hópur sem leitaði í Byrgið að mínu mati hinn svokallaði identified patient, sá sem tekur á sig sjúkleg einkenni hópsins, hvort sem það er í fjölskyldusamhengi eða samfélagslegu samhengi.

- Sjá Edwin Friedman og Family systems theory.

1.

identified patient

Psychology term describing an individual, usually a child or teen, in a dysfunctional family who:

1) Gets scapegoated and blamed for a family's problems
2) Has emotional problems that are not a mental illness, but a normal response to the stress of dealing with an unhealthy family in denial
3) Blows the whistle on a dysfunctional family's problems

Phrase originated because family therapists recognized that the child "identified" as the patient is not necessarily the one who is sick. 1) John is dropping out of school and doing drugs and his parents want him institutionalized, but it turns out his mother is an abusive alcoholic and his father is chronically absent. John is the identified patient.

2) Becky is extremely depressed and fearful. She accuses her father, correctly, of molestation, but the parents deny it and accuse Becky of being sick for reasons that have nothing to do with them. Becky is the identified patient.

 - urban dictionary 

Ósáttur við dóminn

IKEA gerir lítið úr dönum

með því að nefna ódýrustu teppin eftir dönskum bæjum, en dýrustu teppin eftir sænskum bæjum. Hugmynd fyrir íslendinga að gera slíkt hið sama...

Fréttin hér.  

Emotions against IKEA are running high in Denmark, where researchers claim the wildly popular Swedish home furnishings company only names cheap doormats and wall-to-wall carpeting after Danish towns, reserving Swedish names for its more expensive furniture. The discovery has the proud Danes itching for revenge. 

 

velgengni

"The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it's the same problem you had last year." - John Foster Dulles

Gömul póstkort

það var þá...

i dag mega konur bera upp bonordid

samkvaemt enskum sid. Ef karlinn neitar tharf hann ad gefa henni i sarabaetur; koss, peninga og hanska.

Spurning ad na ser i thessar gjafir...

29.feb. wikipedia.

Hlaupársdagur er hvíldardagur

gott quote

Kurt Vonnegut
via haha.nu 

Myrtle Beach

video sem ég tók á leiðinni suður. Þetta er frá Myrtle Beach sem er mikill strandbær í Suður Karólínu.

 

og nokkrar myndir úr ferðalaginu enn sem komið er:

  

The Meal That Makes Us Family and Friends

We all need to eat and drink to stay alive. But having a meal is more than eating and drinking. It is celebrating the gifts of life we share. A meal together is one of the most intimate and sacred human events. Around the table we become vulnerable, filling one another's plates and cups and encouraging one another to eat and drink. Much more happens at a meal than satisfying hunger and quenching thirst. Around the table we become family, friends, community, yes, a body.

That is why it is so important to "set" the table. Flowers, candles, colorful napkins all help us to say to one another, "This is a very special time for us, let's enjoy it!"

- Henri Nouwen 

 

stræk

það er semsagt stræk í gangi...ég hafði misst af því...en jú þessar auglýsingar eru bögg. Það er bara svo þægilegt að blogga hér... Blogger er frekar flókinn, síðast þegar ég var þar...spái í þessu.

Allavega er að fara í Valentine´s dinner í kvöld...reyndar bara með vinkonu...en samt gaman.

The Bridge - a metaphor

Frábær saga um nokkuð sem plagar marga. Eftir Edwin Friedman höfund Generation to generation: 

There was a man who had given much thought to what he wanted from life. He had experienced many moods and trials. He had experimented with different ways of living, and he had had his share of both success and failure. At last, he had begun to see clearly where he wanted to go.

Diligently, he searched for the right opportunity. Sometimes he came close, only to be pushed away. Often the applied all of his strength and imagination, only to find the path hopelessly blocked. And then at last it came! But the opportunity would not wait. It would be made available only for a short time. If it were seen that he was not committed, the opportunity would not come again.

Eager to arrive, he started on his journey. With each step, he wanted to move faster; with each thought about his goal, his heart beat quicker; with each vision of what lay ahead, he found renewed vigor. Strength that had left it since his early youth returned, and desires, all kinds of desires, reawakened from their long-dormant positions.

Hurrying along, he came upon a bridge that crossed through the middle of a town. It had been built high above a river in order to protect it from the floods of spring.

He started across. Then he noticed someone coming from the opposite direction. As they moved closer, it seemed as though the other was coming to greet him. He could clearly see, however, that he did not know this other, who was dressed similarly except for something tied around his waist.

When they were within hailing distance, he could see that what the other had about his waist was a rope. It was wrapped around him many times and probably, if extended, would reach a length of 30 feet.

The other began to uncurl the rope, and, just as they were coming close, the stranger said, "Pardon me, would you be so kind as to hold the end a moment?"

Surprised by this politely phrased but curious request, he agreed without a thought, reached out, and took it.

"Thank you," said the other, who then added, "two hands now, and remember, hold tight." Whereupon, the other jumped off the bridge.

Quickly, the free-falling body hurtled the distance of the rope's length, and from the bridge, the man abruptly felt the pull. Instinctively, he held tight and was almost dragged over the side. He managed to brace himself against the edge, however, and after having caught his breath looked down at the other dangling, close to oblivion.

"What are you trying to do?" he yelled. "Just hold tight," said the other "This is ridiculous," the man thought and began trying to haul the other in. He could not get the leverage, however. It was as though the weight of the other person and the length of the rope had been carefully calculated in advance so that together they created a counterweight just beyond his strength to bring the other back to safety.

"Why did you do this?" the man called out. "Remember," said the other, "if you let go, I will be lost." "But I cannot pull you up," the man cried. "I am your responsibility," said the other. "Well, I did not ask for it," the man said. "If you let go, I am lost," repeated the other.

He began to look around for help. But there was no one. How long would he have to wait? Why did this happen to befall him now, just as he was on the verge of true success? He examined the side, searching for a place to tie the rope. Some protrusion, perhaps, or maybe a hole in the boards. But the railing was unusually uniform in shape; there were no spaces between the boards. There was no way to get rid of this newfound burden, even temporarily.

What do you want?" he asked the other hanging below. "Just your help," the other answered. "How can I help? I cannot pull you in, and there is no place to tie the rope so that I can go and find someone to help me help you." "I know that. Just hang on; that will be enough. Tie the rope around your waist; it will be easier."

Fearing that his arms could not hold out much longer, he tied the rope around his waist. "Why did you do this?" he asked again. "Don't you see what you have done? What possible purpose could you have in mind?" "Just remember," said the other, "my life is in your hands."

What should he do? "If I let go, all my life I will know that I let this other die. If I stay, I risk losing my momentum toward my own long-sought-after salvation. Either way, this will haunt me forever." With ironic humor he thought to die himself, instantly, to jump off the bridge while he was still holding on. "That would teach this fool." But he wanted to live and live fully. "What a choice I have to make; How shall I ever decide?"

As time went by, still no one came. The critical moment of decision was drawing near. To show his commitment to his own goals, he would have to continue on his journey now. It was already almost too late to arrive in time. But what a terrible choice to have to make!

A new thought occurred to him. While he could not pull this other up solely by his own efforts, if the other would shorten the rope from his end by curling it around his waist again and again, together, they could do it! Actually, the other could do it by himself, so long as he, standing on the bridge, kept it still and steady.

"Now listen," he shouted down. "I think I know how to save you." And he explained his plan. But the other wasn't interested. "You mean you won't help? But I told you I cannot pull you up myself, and I don't think I can hang on much longer either." "You must try," the other shouted back in tears. "If you fail, I die!"

The point of decision had arrived. What should he do? "My life or this other's?" And then a new idea. A revelation. So new, in fact, it seemed heretical, so alien was it to his traditional way of thinking.

"I want you to listen carefully," he said, "because I mean what I am about to say. I will not accept the position of choice for your life, only for my own; the position of choice for your own life I hereby give back to you."

"What do you mean?" the other asked, afraid. "I mean, simply, it's up to you. You decide which way this ends. I will become the counterweight. You do the pulling and bring yourself up. I will even tug a little from here." He began unwinding the rope from around his waist and braced himself anew against the side.

"You cannot mean what you say!" the other shrieked. "You would not be so selfish. I am your responsibility. What could be so important that you would let someone die? Do not do this to me!"

He waited a moment. There was not change in the tension of the rope.

"I accept your choice," he said, at last, and freed his hands.

- Edwin H. Friedman

From the book "Friedman's Fables